I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Randomize
