Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
