drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
