i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Randomize
