I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
dude. I can hear the air.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
