You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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