the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Randomize
