yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
