An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize
