I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
