If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
i think we sleep fucked last night...
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
