I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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