My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
