I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
