My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
