think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
