is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize
