I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
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