in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
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