I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Randomize
