first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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