i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
