Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Sorry my hands just texted you
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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