are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Randomize
