How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
