dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
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