I look better un-naked...
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
