Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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