Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
