So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
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