ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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