I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
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