I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
