I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Randomize
