Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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