My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
