She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
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