can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
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