Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
