While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Randomize
