I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
