Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
