I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
