There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
he shaved USA in his pubs
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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