Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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