So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
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