im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
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