This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize
