just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
