She went from zero to smokin in five shots
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
