Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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