You're my little dorito
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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