Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
