It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
